Loneliness is not easy at times to understand and is an uncomfortable displeasing emotion. It can be considered a possible reaction to the lack of companionship, friends and can bring about feelings of distress. I believe, because of my circumstance that its more on not having a connection or communication with other human beings. The term, “lonely on the farm” is actually true in my situation. I don’t know who said it, but “the animals are my friends”.
Feeling disconnected, you just don’t fit in or you just need the attention and approval from someone or something, are just some things lonely people think. There may be more that’s just what I think. This emotion can bring about depression and can physically harm you, in case studies, early death. (Baya Voce). There is “therapy” and the “anti depressants” and other things, what ever they may be. But I think until you make up your mind to find strategies to help create new habits fight fear and change your perception of the world, people, this is what will bring you out of a lonely state of mind. Buddha says that happiness and suffering, are all in the mind, not objects.
Just because your are social on social media doesn’t bring an end to loneliness. I’ve found that it is not fulfilling on any level. Just makes it worse. People are posting all their great holidays and posting fake feelings? Actually you don’t know what they are feeling. Physically going out and finding real life meaningful links, is important and can be easy to do, even if you are an introvert like me, scared of everything. In my case loneliness is self served, because of past events and failures. Taking the blame myself, focusing on the past, which doesn’t exist.
There is a lot of loneliness help out there, not just on the internet, but also in physical social groups that focus on loneliness and its attributes. But you have to physically go out, create conversation, whether with the store clerk or whoever you meet. There are strategies that can help. Lonely people don’t usually like to talk about themselves but if the opportunity arises, do it! Just throw it out there! I’m working on this and it has helpful, the physical part of it.
If you want to be free from loneliness you have to change your perception in your mind. Start talking to as many people as you can. Talk about yourself. Say what you like and don’t like, because your thoughts and feelings are important on every level. Say what your thoughts are these can create a meaningful link to someone. It may not change overnight, but if you get involved with your interests, things will start to happen. Take it, “moment by moment”. For instance, if you want to dance… go dance. Join a success team, go to meetings once a week to refill on your social gap. Focus on what you “want” to do, not “what” you have to do.
Take the first step and begin changing your thought process. It’s not as scary as it seems and negative experiences we’ve had, are not now and should not be allowed to control the present moment which is all any of us have, is right now.
Don’t take your past failures personally. Change mind set to: the approach you will take and the goals you need to get there.
- Olivia Remes
- Baya Voc
- Barbra Sher