Mindfulness Practice

Mindfulness

The results of controlling your thoughts and emotions can be extremely helpful, not only for your mind but also your physical.  The stress, worries and fears that we have about the past (which doesn’t exist) and the future (which isn’t here yet) can cause a body to become inflamed, affecting immune system and allowing sickness to set in.  Headaches, body aches, fatigue, cancer, ulcers …  Negative feelings such as anger, hate, fear, disappointment etc.  create overactive chemicals in your system causing imbalance.   Only in your mind I believe is an excellent term. Because anything is going to be whatever you make it. Dwell on negativity, there you go.  Choosing positive intent on the moment at hand can and will create beautiful things.

My Experience      

A year ago, I had my own business. For four years the pressure of meeting regulations and inspections, taxes, insurances and such had me stressed.  The last year of those four years, I had adult children on heroine, they had lost everything and the children were homeless and neglected.  I took them all in.  I have no regrets, only glad that I could provide them with love, attention and a home, safe home compared to the places my daughters had been taking them and leaving them.  I didn’t have much money, basically the food bank was a place I shopped weekly, my daughters were on state benefits but, that all went to the drug dealer who was eating quite well! They would say give me a list, “I’m going to the store I’ll be right back”.  That store run would be two days then, a month and then longer.  They stop answering their phones or even showing up.  The child support, they collected all went to dope.

The sadness I experienced was unbelievable my heart was broke.  Their concern for their children was obsolete.  But with them being gone it eliminated a majority of the problems they created and hatefulness towards me because it was my house, they were destroying it!  I was not going to have it!! It was not the children, it was their moms!!  One thing I learned was to let go.  Had to.  Their choices were their own, they are adults and they didn’t want my help, just money or jewelry, my power tools, products from my business to sell or trade just to get them high.  I never thought that my children would ever steal from me, EVER!   

The business required full time on my part, four children were in school, one only four, there were no programs for preschool. My business was suffering to the point of no return.  Bills were piling up.  I could not see how I was going to recover from this I was about to lose everything and be homeless myself.

I couldn’t sleep, my body ached and the joy of my dreams and visions had turned literally into a night mare.  The “what ifs” and the “what nots”, not enough money, time, resources.  My electricity got shut off, was out of wood, only source of heat.  Worried about my adult daughters doing heroine and if they were alright etc.…These things just bombarded my mind.  The negative state of mind just robbed me of all my joys.  I was having a hard time providing and I just was not feeling well, my heart was pounding in my chest, I had no one at this point.  Except my doctor, here comes the medications to calm me down.  This created something else.  Ya, I was calm but couldn’t function.  Could not wake up and when I did, I was groggy and numb inside.  Could not think straight.  Doc said,” You got to take for a month before you see the benefits”.  I stopped in three days.  This really messed with everything, seriously.  I didn’t have a month.  I needed a moment by moment solution.

Researching

What’s great about technology today is you can research anything and figure out what’s really going on.  And… I did!  I had situational depression and stress.  The world was literally on my shoulders!  That’s when I discovered mindfulness meditations, affirmations and listening to my angels, changing myself from within.  Thru this I realized there was this negativity that I was allowing to exist in my personal space and mind.  I felt powerless, but found out -I was not.  And also, that I was not alone. That I would be taken care of do not worry.

Once I changed my thoughts and beliefs to positive outcomes, things began to happen immediately within a 2-week time period.  My electricity was turned on, the food bank people helped with that. A wood guy heard I needed wood and just showed up with couple cords of wood. Chopped and stacked it. I was not advertising to sell but was contacted by a potential buyer with a substantial offer to buy my business and property. So, I did end up selling it all.  I needed out.  Needed the money to raise the grandchildren.   Then….

The fathers of the children which I did not know how to contact, were contacting me.  One of the dads moved in to help with the bills, his kids and decided to stay to make needed repairs until the property and business sold.   Another dad took his daughter home, he had been looking for her.   Another dad showed up and took his boys, I was really sad to see all of them go, but it was for the best. It had been a rough year, and they were going to stable environments.   One daughter is recovering from addiction and is participating with her boys.  The other is still using and living on the streets.  I can only send her loving vibes and know that she will wake up soon.  Because that is what I desire.

It’s been a year now and I still have moments of panic.  So now I’m learning that my thoughts control pretty much everything and reprogramming myself to get out of the panic attacks has been a journey and still on going.  I have to keep centering myself and remind myself that that’s not what’s happening at this moment.  What is happening now, focus on that and to just let those thoughts fly by that do not serve me or my higher purpose. Focusing on me breathe, my animal friends and nature, which seems to be the best centering spot for me.  I just close my eyes and turn on my senses.   The smells, the sounds and the air.  What a beautiful planet we live on. There is actually something really calming about wind blowing the leaves in the trees.  Sun on your face or rain or snow.  Crisp air.

Conclusion

The benefits for me, practicing mindfulness, manifestation, meditation have been awesome.  I sleep at night I actually have good dreams instead of waking up in a panic, I wake up feeling refreshed and content.  I have more energy, strength and focus.  I’m more relaxed, my body doesn’t ache anymore.  Happiness is now a friend of mine and I find joys again in the things that I love and that matter the most to me. It an ongoing practice, a habit that I have had to create to reprogram my subconscious mind to live in the moment without any type of discrimination.  Put off the feelings emotions that are negative and focus on the peacefulness of life in general and practice gratitude for every little thing.

December 20, 2018

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